Two Modes of Being
Every person operates in one of two modes at any given moment: positive contribution or negative conflict strategy. When we feel safe, valued, and connected to our catalytic values (Faith, Truth, Compassion, or Justice), we contribute positively. When we feel threatened, our core values shift into defensive mode—and we begin to do damage.
When we experience ourselves being overpowered by someone, or unloved, or unappreciated, or judged as being wrong, we feel fearful. We get a tight knot in our stomachs. A voice in our head tells us to take defensive action and we react, shifting out of our positive self and into the negative conflict strategies of our core values—our learned personality behaviors.
Recognizing the Negative Patterns
Each core value has characteristic negative patterns that emerge under stress:
Builder Conflict Patterns
Intimidation, aggressive confrontation, demanding compliance, raising voice, invading personal space, taking over, bulldozing objections. The Builder becomes a tyrant rather than a leader.
Merchant Conflict Patterns
Manipulation, people-pleasing, exaggeration, avoiding conflict, changing subjects, building obligation, passive-aggression. The Merchant becomes a manipulator rather than a connector.
Innovator Conflict Patterns
Interrogation, intellectual superiority, exposing others’ inadequacies, withholding, strategic silence, complexity as a weapon. The Innovator becomes a critic rather than a problem-solver.
Banker Conflict Patterns
Aloof withdrawal, rigid rule enforcement, cold correctness, withholding help, citing regulations as barriers. The Banker becomes an obstructionist rather than a guardian of quality.
The Cost of Staying in Conflict Mode
Some of us shift from one negative Core Values Strategy to the next in order to escalate the conflict to a higher level and bring in the bigger guns of a different Core Values Strategy. When we move from positive to negative, or when we move from one Core Values Strategy to another because of fear, we lose our effectiveness.
We are no longer in control of ourselves or the situation when we shift into defensive mode. We can no longer take positive action since we are focused on deflecting the energy of someone else. We are on the defense. Relationships suffer. Trust erodes. Opportunities are missed. And often, the very outcomes we feared become more likely because of our defensive behavior.
The Early Warning Signs
Learning to recognize the early signs of shifting from contribution to conflict is essential for personal development. Each type has characteristic warning signs:
- Builders: Rising frustration, impatience with process, urge to “just do it myself,” viewing others as obstacles.
- Merchants: Anxiety about approval, urge to smooth things over at any cost, exaggerating positives, avoiding difficult truths.
- Innovators: Growing detachment, impulse to criticize, viewing others as intellectually inferior, withholding insights.
- Bankers: Rigid adherence to rules for their own sake, withdrawal from engagement, sense of being undervalued.
The Shift Back to Positive Contribution
The path from conflict strategy back to positive contribution requires reconnecting with your catalytic value. For Builders, this means restoring faith. For Merchants, recommitting to truth. For Innovators, reawakening compassion. For Bankers, remembering justice.
Practical steps to make the shift:
- Pause: Create space between stimulus and response. A single breath can be enough.
- Name it: Acknowledge to yourself that you’ve shifted into conflict mode.
- Ground: Reconnect with your catalytic value through a brief mental exercise.
- Choose: Ask yourself what the most effective positive response would be.
- Act: Take conscious action rather than automatic reaction.
Reclaiming Your Positive Power
The secret is to give up the idea of changing yourself and take possession of your life. Claim the powerful, loving, creative, and knowledgeable elements of your life and build on them. Instead of trying to change who you are habitually being, the challenge is to find your way back to being who you really are.
Each core value without fear has a wonderful capable strategy for developing fulfillment and success in life. The idea is to reclaim your life from the rules and expectations of parents, teachers, and early social influences to see yourself as the wisdom, power, love, or knowledge in the room that you are—and to develop all of the positive aspects of your Core Values Strategies, minimizing your negative reactions.
The Positive Contribution of Each Core Value
When operating in positive mode, each core value contributes uniquely:
Builder Contributions
Decisive action, inspiring leadership, making things happen, removing obstacles, driving results, maintaining momentum, building tangible value.
Merchant Contributions
Authentic connection, team inspiration, vision casting, conflict resolution, relationship building, creating community, spreading enthusiasm.
Innovator Contributions
Clear insight, creative problem-solving, seeing patterns, anticipating consequences, finding elegant solutions, providing perspective, wise counsel.
Banker Contributions
Accuracy, thoroughness, institutional memory, quality assurance, fair process, reliable systems, protection against error.
Building Awareness Through Practice
The shift from conflict strategy to positive contribution becomes easier with practice. Each time you catch yourself in conflict mode and consciously choose a different response, you strengthen your ability to stay in positive contribution mode.
This isn’t about suppressing your nature—it’s about expressing it more purely. The mature Builder is still powerful, just not destructive. The mature Merchant still connects, just not through manipulation. The mature Innovator still sees clearly, just not cruelly. The mature Banker still values accuracy, just not at the expense of relationships.
Understand Your Patterns
The Core Values Index reveals both your positive contributions and your conflict patterns. Understanding these patterns is the first step toward spending more time in positive contribution mode. Take the CVI today.